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Sing (A Song)

96

Category : family, life outside work, Motherhood and parenting, musings, Work

Sing, sing a song

Sing out loud
Sing out strong
Sing of good things not bad
Sing of happy not sad
t worry that it’s not
Good enough for anyone
Else to hear
Just sing, sing a song

(*) sing, sing a song
Make it simple to last
Your whole life long
Don

Two pretty kids (aged about 6, daughters of my officemates) were singing these lines, the song, popularized by Karen Carpenter. I was amused to hear them singing this particular song because simply put, it’s an old song, yet, they were both singing it beautifully. One of them was holding the paper containing the lyrics, while the other one was sitting opposite the other girl, happily and contentedly singing along. The little girl holding the paper with the lyrics asked me if I knew the song, and I said yes. After that, I found myself humming along while on my way back to my place.

I realized, it’s such a simple song with very simple lyrics, but when you think about it, its beauty lies in its simplicity. And with everything that’s happened recently, I started asking myself if indeed, I had reasons to sing, especially sing of good things, not bad…sing of happy, not sad…

You see, three weeks ago, my little boy, Jeremy, and my little girl, Cassie were both hospitalized and confined at Asian Hospital for pneumonia. They’d had fever a few days before that, and were both having severe asthma attacks. To make things worse, both didn’t have appetite for food and even water, and Cassie was having LBM. I was scared they would be dehydrated soon, that Bong and I decided to bring them to Asian Hospital. There, their x-rays confirmed that both had pneumonia, and had to be confined so meds could be administered intravenously.

I’d like to think I’m one tough cookie, but I easily crumble when it involves my loved ones, my kids, most especially. Bong and I watched helplessly as they were both inserted the needle. I could only cry silently and pray that things would be over soon. Suffice it to say that after 3 days for Jeremy and 4 days for Cassie, everything was back to normal. However, I couldn’t say the same thing for myself.

On Cassie’s last night at the hospital (Jeremy being discharged a day earlier,) I developed fever. The next day, as we were preparing ourselves to go home, I was having chills. Later that day, my fever shot up to 39.8. Fortunately, with my mom taking care of me, and Bong, taking over later, my fever went down to a manageable 38. This continued on ‘til the next day, so it was not until the day after that when I was able to go back to work.

When I got back to work after 6 days of absence, naturally, work had already piled up. But what made me sad was the fact that a dear friend and officemate had decided to leave the company for personal reasons. This friend was one of the few people who help me keep my sanity, but yeah, sometimes we just have to accept the fact that reality has a way of throwing things right smack at our faces.

That aside, I still had something to look forward to… the company-wide summer outing at San Juan Laiya, Batangas last Saturday, April 24. Bong, the three kids and the two yayas were, after all, going with me, so it would surely be fun. It turned out really well at first, with Jeremy and Cassie enjoying the waters, Kara getting her henna tattoo, Bong and I taking turns swimming with the kids, and the two yayas enjoying themselves. But towards the end of the afternoon, I was sent a text message by both my youngest sister and my mom that our Tito Nilo, husband of my Tita Oma (my mom’s sister), who was confined at a hospital in San Pablo, Laguna for complications related to his Parkinson’s disease, had already passed away. He might not exactly have been our blood relative, but our families are all pretty close. My mom has 9 siblings, all of them with families so you can just imagine what a happy, noisy clan we are especially during special occasions like Christmases, weddings, christenings, fiestas, etc.

I immediately wanted to rush to Calauan, Laguna, where they live, but we were too far. I just silently uttered a prayer of eternal repose for him and vowed that I would go to Calauan the first chance I get.

At 5pm, we all filed to our respective buses which would take us back to Manila (Alabang for us Alabang-based employees, and Makati for those who live in the north). However, just as we were about to board our bus, we were informed that the air-conditioning system bogged down, and that we either had to travel with the windows open, or be assigned to different buses. We opted for the latter, and as we were “squatters” in the other buses, we had to take the jump seats (those foldable seats in the middle of the aisle). With two kids who were fast asleep the minute we stepped on the bus, it was truly difficult.

But what could be worse than that, you ask? It was finding out in the middle of the trip that our bus driver had gotten lost. He missed the turn for the Star Tollways, making the usual 3-hour drive a 4 ½-hour drive instead. We reached Alabang dead tired, hungry and a bit grumpy at a little before 10pm.

We stopped over to grab something to eat at Shell SLEX, and then we proceeded home. At home, we found out that everybody, save for another Tita whose family lives nearby, had gone to Calauan. Kara and I decided to go to Calauan with our Tita’s family. I left Bong with the kids as they were too tired to travel with us.

At Calauan, it was very difficult to keep myself from crying because I saw how my Tita Oma was—sad, crying, disoriented. She told us later that she didn’t mind taking care of my Tito Nilo, herself already consumed by arthritis, if only he could be with her. It was painful to watch her and my cousins, but what could I possibly do, other than cry with them, and pray again and again for strength for their family.

Today, I went to work again with a heavy heart…but hearing these two kids singing a song so simple, yet made beautiful by their innocent voices, I am again given hope…that after all that had happened, I could still sing a song…and maybe, rejoice at the fact that my Tito Nilo no longer suffers…that the kids’ health has been restored, that we all went home safely despite the few setbacks…I must sing of good things not bad…sing of happy not sad. Indeed…and look forward to brighter things ahead…

Good health in 2010. Please!

Category : family, musings

Only a few hours of 2009 is left and we are about to start another year.

I really do not know what 2010 has in store for me, for us, but all I know is that a few days ago, my status message in Facebook read: “wishes for good health in 2010. Enough with the trips to hospitals.”

What many may not know is that this year, there have been several trips to the hospital, and those were not just for routine vaccinations. In March, my paternal grandmother was hospitalized, and subsequently passed away. Sometime in the middle of the year, Jeremy was taken to the ER of Asian Hospital because of an eye injury. In October, I was hospitalized due to my slipped disc problem, which also necessitated another MRI. At about the same time, my father’s eldest sister was also hospitalized due to an elevated blood pressure and difficulty in breathing. Then, last month, Kara was hospitalized for dengue. And now, it’s me again.

You see, last December 12, I felt pain at the right side of my back, waist area. It’s the same pain which brought me to the hospital last October. But unlike last October, this one was worse, with the pain going down my right leg, not to mention the pins and needles sensation. I was already warned by the Asian Hospital Ortho doctor that the protruding disc was quite large and very very near the nerve. This time, it’s confirmed, I have nerve impingement which is causing this pain.

So starting December 15, I had been on sick leave. I just had to go to the office last December 14 to finish a speech for our President. But even then, It was already very painful.

So anyway, I started taking pain reliever and muscle relaxant, but that didn’t relieve the pain. My cousin, an orthopedic surgeon in St. Luke’s who also holds clinic in Sta. Rosa prescribed me a drug for sciatica, or nerve pain. He told me that the pain in my right leg would unfortunately be the last to go. But while the pain at my back has already disappeared, the pain in my right leg still wouldn’t go away. Only a few minutes on my feet, even sitting up would already be very painful, that I would have to lie down immediately so the pain would subside. I do everything mostly lying in bed–eating, reading, net surfing, blogging, and most of all, laying out my magazine (I brought home work) that my left elbow has already gotten very dark, dry, and painful with blisters Frown

So earlier tonight, as he is staying at my tita’s (his mom) place, I decided to see him. I told him that the pain is still here and asked him what my options are. He told me I may take the nerve pain med for another week, but if there is no significant improvement by then, then that would mean surgery for me. Naturally, I got scared. Who wants to go under the knife, anyway? But he explained that surgeries like that are now performed with the least time possible and with a very short incision. It’s also, according to him, a usual procedure, about 5 a week at St. Lukes. yay! While he wouldn’t be the one operating on me (if this is my last resort,) he would be there and his wife, who is an anaesthesiologist, would also be there. He assured me I would be well-taken care of.

And so I thought, so much for FB status messages. Looks like I’d have to make a few trips to hospitals in 2010. But who knows, I still have a week before I would have to face that eventuality. In the meantime, I guess I would have to continue praying hard I wouldn’t have to go under the knife, and wish at midnight, that as 2009 leaves us, it would also take with it this illness that has been taking its toll on me.

And yeah, I wish you all good health in 2010. Enough with the trips to hospitals. Indeed!

Slipped disc and MRI…again…

47

Category : family, musings

I felt the pain last Sunday night, after we had a family day out.

Monday, my lower back was still painful but I still willed myself to go to work. That night, I kept on complaining that the pain wasn’t letting up. It was in fact, getting worse.

Tuesday, Bong had to bring me to the office. Despite the pain, I had no intention of missing work. But during that 4-hour seminar in our auditorium, I decided I had to go to the hospital. The pain was getting intense, and I didn’t want to reach the point where walking would be close to impossible.

So my sister fetched me and brought me to Asian Hospital. I told the ER doctor of my slipped disc history in 2006. she asked what I did that led to my back hurting and I told her I carried Cassie for longer periods of time last Sunday. You see, I wanted our two yayas to enjoy the rides and have a really good time, so I took Cassie and our bags with me, not knowing that it would trigger my old problem.

The ER doctor ordered an MRI. When I first heard of it, I really got scared. I still can vividly remember my first MRI experience at the same hospital three years ago. I vowed to myself I wouldn’t undergo another one as it really traumatized me. Just imagine being placed inside a capsule that made it look as if I were inside a casket. It didn’t help that there were hammering noises for most of those 20 minutes inside the machine. Unfortunately, they said my MRI plates were no longer in the hospital and I had to undergo another one. shoot!

So for the next twenty minutes while i was inside that blasted machine, I tried not to open my eyes, and just tried to count and sing songs to myself. I was scared of my blood pressure going up due to fear. (though I don’t have a history of high blood pressure…my usual is 100/70)

Later on, the results were read by the Orthopedic surgeon and the verdict was handed to me. I still had a slipped disc (something i’ve known since three years ago) and the disc that slipped was already quite large. I was just lucky it wasn’t pressing on a nerve, otherwise, i’d have lost my ability to control my urine and bowel movement, not to mention sensation in my legs.)

I was admitted in the hospital and put on meds, which actually dulled the pain. I was told to lie down for most of the time to relieve the pressure off my back. Sitting makes the pain worse, anyway. And so, I spent the night in the hospital. It was a lonely night even though my mom and my sister were with me. I wasn’t with the kids. I told Bong to just go home so the kids would have a daddy. I missed them too much.

The next day, yesterday, I asked the doctor to discharge me so I could recuperate at home. I knew I’d just get sicker in the hospital. He was very understanding, thankfully, so he sent me home with reminders to be more careful, no lifting or bending, and definitely no carrying of little heavy piglets at home. yeah. yeah.

And so here I am, lying on the bed while writing this. I’d have to stay in bed for two more days. I am hoping though that I’d be better on Monday so I could go back to work.

But while I am at home, I had better make the most of my time with my kids…while lying on the bed.

© 2005-2013 Keekaye's sketches All Rights Reserved

© 2005-2013 Keekaye's sketches All Rights Reserved