Yesterday, on my way home from work, the mother of one of my Ates (I call my yayas “Ate”) informed me through a text message that her father is in Manila and will leave for Samar (where they live) this Saturday. The sad part is, he wants to fetch his daughter and bring her home as well.

This naturally stunned me. It was very abrupt and this Ate is the one taking care of my little hyperactive boy, Jeremy. I asked her why it was all so sudden, like we were not even informed she was leaving so suddenly. I told her I would have understood if she were at least mistreated at home. For the life of me, I really could not see any indication she wanted to leave. I was even thinking I was not a bad employer because Bong and I always let our Ates eat ahead of us, I even tell them to eat well, this particular Ate especially because she is taking care of a very active boy and she has to be able to match his energy. I even cook at home now because I want them to have something to eat when Bong and I are not around. I always give in to their requests, especially those that have to do with money. And upon arriving from work, even when I have not had rest yet, I take Jeremy with me so I could relieve her because I know how tiring it is to take care of my little boy. Sobra akong manuyo, actually.

So imagine my astonishment when I was suddenly informed that she is leaving. Yesterday was a Thursday, so that gave me two days of notice. At home, I talked to her and asked her if she knew her father was coming to fetch her. She said she did not know and that she was going to leave only if we have already found somebody to replace her. I told her that was not what her mother told me.

This morning, Bong and I talked to her and it seems she has already really made up her mind that she is leaving. I told her it was like her family forgot to give us time to breathe and just wrung our necks because of their decision. I told her it truly pained me to let her go because I have already learned to like and even love the two of them (my Ates) because we could see they both love our babies and they are taking care of them so well. Even my daughter Ate Kara talked to me last night and asked me not to let go of this particular Ate. But I told the Ate that I also know she loves her family more than she loves Jeremy so I understand why she wants to go home now. And if tomorrow she still decides to go home with her father, I would understand.

On the way to the office this morning, I could not sleep on Bong’s shoulder even when I had about 4 to 5 hours of sleep only due to Cassie’s fussing at 2:00 in the morning. I was still very much bothered not just because we need to find a replacement Ate soon, but because it really pains me to let her go.

Now as I am writing this, I feel as if I have just broken up with someone. When you have learned to care for somebody and that somebody decides to leave you, you are left with a feeling of great loss. I am wishing the next Ate would be able to take care of my little Jeremy and love him as much as this Ate does. Nowadays, it is hard to look for someone you can trust your life and your children’s lives with. But then, last night and this morning, I already lifted up to Him my problems and woes and told Him we can’t do this alone. I know the next Ate He sends will be just as nice and caring because she will come from Him. Your will be done, Lord.

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